Music to My Ears
by Dancing Feather
Summary: Naraku and his fascination with gardening has gotten Inuyasha and Kagome lost again in some evil forest. But for what purpose? Other than evil, of course. :Oneshot of light crack:


Rumiko Takahashi owns Inuyasha and the other characters that are abused in this story.

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**Music to My Ears**

You know those villains that talk big but it turns out their most recent plan looks like it was made out of sheer boredom? The ones that cause the good guys more annoyance than real harm? Naraku was one of those. So was Sesshoumaru, but since he was related to one of the good guys that was a given. That is what siblings do, they annoy you with their existence, gosh damn it.

Today was one of those days, Naraku had lost another game of Ping-Pong to Casper the f- I mean, Kanna of the Void. He lost mainly because he had allowed Kanna to use her mirror.

_'I should have thought that though.' _he thought in a villainous way. It was a thought Inuyasha should have had more often, but things seemed to be working out for him despite that.

"Augh, I'm angry and need to vent." Naraku scratched his perfect cranium. It was perfect in a way that dandruff never showed. It was either invisible or not there. Let us hope it was invisible because I don't want to think of the compounds of an organism with skin that doesn't shed. "I feel like stretching my gardening skills," he said with a tone that went along with the threat,_ "Or else!" _Putting on his gardening hat and grabbing a bag of poisonous plant seeds and a shovel, he went out on what he considered a good day (which probably consisted of ominous clouds).

Finding the closest innocent forest available, he set on to make it evil. Oh, so very evil. In fact, Naraku assured himself that this plan was good. I don't know what his self esteem level was to assure himself of this, but the idea was so good it must have been bad. When finished, Naraku gave off an evil cackle. To those who read the manga, this was known as the cooing sound.

"Ku ku ku ku ku..."

He could have been attracting birds, but he sure fooled the rest of us.

"This is perfect, I will finally exact my revenge on Inuyasha and that hag!" he said, ignoring the rest of the cast. No one knew what he was talking about concerning revenge. Isn't that why everyone else was after him? Anyways, Naraku took one of the depressed lunatics in the forest and managed to persuade them that it was Inuyasha's fault for his miserable life, even though he never met the guy. He then gave the guy a piece of the Shikon Jewel as bait for Kagome.

She was the Basset Hound of the group.

"Guys wait, I think I sense another piece of the jewel!"

Of course, if she looked like a dog Inuyasha might've been faster on the draw. He wouldn't of resorted to trying to decide for so long between her and Sesshoumaru. I mean, Kikyou. Yea.

So as they got near the forest, Naraku's unlimited minions appeared and started to harass everyone. Kagome headed off into the forest saying she was going to get the jewel while Inuyasha yelled about don't leave his line of sight or something like that. Kagome ignored this and Inuyasha followed after her into the forest while the still ignored cast was left off to kill the rest of the monsters.

"I don't appreciate being written out of the story like this," said the monk, and that was the last thing he said in this story. The other characters didn't even stand a chance.

For some reason, despite being faster and owning a wonderfully shapely nose Inuyasha failed once again to locate Kagome. Somehow the girl managed to get a good distance between the two despite the fact she wore shoes that had horrible traction. I'd make fun of her outfit more but lets face it, it's hot.

So after searching for Kagome in twenty minutes of his time, five panels in the manga and six seconds of episode Inuyasha decided to use his last tactic...

"KAAAGOOOOOMEEEEE!"

_**Meanwhile, in a dark forbidding lab, I mean... some random nightmare castle...**_

"Sir, what are you doing?" a soft but annoyed voice asked in the darkness.

"Why, hello Kagura. Care to sit and watch?" Naraku patted to his side, not looking away from his television set. I mean, Kanna's mirror.

Kagura would've rather told Naraku to stuff it, but thought better of it and sat next to her lord and master. Before she could ask her previous question again, Naraku answered it,

"I'm watching my new evil plan commence into action."

Red eyes looked up with curiosity as she watched the half human cloaked in dead rat running around and screaming his friend's name. Her eyes then trailed to the second half of the mirror, which showed the said friend running around calling out the first guy's name.

"_Kagome!"_

"_Inuyasha!"_

"_Kagome!"_

"_Inuyasha!"_

"What exactly is this new plan?"

"It's simple really," Naraku gave a little smirk, most common seen when things were dying, "I planted several hundred hollow metal demon trees so every sound that enters the forest will echo miles around."

"...and?"

"There's no way they are going to find each other."

"For what purpose?" Kagura felt like standing up and leaving, but stayed inwardly cursing Naraku for wasting her time again.

"Don't you hear that?" he waved his hand over to Kanna, almost hitting the white antennae resting on her head.

"_Inuyasha!"_

"_Kagome!"_

"_Inuyasha!"_

"Isn't that really annoying?" he added.

"Yea, but what can we do about it?"

"Well, like every other natural living being, their vocal chords are going to wear out. But knowing those two, they will continue calling out for each other..."

"Until they are permanently horse?" Kagura interrupted. Naraku nodded, and sparkles of happiness flooded Kagura's eyes, "Sir, that is absolutely brilliant!"

"I know." said the man who had no self-confidence issues to speak of. Kagura eagerly turned back to the screen, and watched history make it's mark.

"_Inu...!" Kagome paused to cough for a brief moment, "Yasha...!"_

_In another part of the forest, Inuyasha was shouting out Kagome's name but now the shout was barely above a whisper._

"_Kagome..."_

"Now that," Naraku poured himself and Kagura a glass of wine, "is music to my ears."

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To those new to my stories, if you see a spelling and/or grammatical error, please feel free to correct me. I will not be insulted if you thought this was the worst fanfic ever, just please tell me why it sucked!


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